you'd think it would hit you when you were 3 weeks into it and you had one saturday night without it. but no you still stayed up till 4 in the morning crossing your fingers everytime a new caller appeared and then walking in the rain to the dodgy side of town with your last fiver to get it. you'd think it would hit you when your dad threw you across the room and burst your already chewed and scabbed lip so much that it didn't stop bleeing for an hour.or at least you'd think it would hit  you when you lost your best friend, boyfriend and spent new years eve in a hospital bed watching your mum and dad hold hands so tight i thought her hands would break.no still keep going and going and going...oh theres another warning!did you learn when you sniffed dust out your purse when you woke up in someones house with people you didn't know just so you'd get the psychosomatic effect.here we go..the love of your life (the secret love of your life) tells you to stop and says he loves the purity and naivety of you, surely then you stopped?no, fuck what everyone else thinks!taking 16 lines by yourself on a public toilet seat whilst your loving brother is outside just because you 'can't deal with the people at the party' did that bother you?what about when you spend your last dollars to get an ball of cocaine and eventhough you were at one of the most sought after places in palm springs you spent most of the time in the beautiful marble bathroom doing the one thing you could be doing at home?what about choosing a coupla grams of mdma over that person who really needed to talk to you, did that?list goes on...remember when you were innocent, consciencious and fun?